If you’ve ever attempted comforting a guy friend in distress, you might have noticed them responding differently to your cues than female friends. Of course, every individual communicates differently, but most guys share enough traits that common needs, commonalities of expression, and common ways to provide for these needs arise. And if you’ve become used to other communicative tendencies, identifying when your guy friends aren’t doing so well and finding a way to extend support might become difficult. But fret not, this article will provide a general walkthrough to help the guys in your life through dire straits.
How To Comfort Them
Listen Actively
First, understand that most guys tend to keep their emotions close to their chest. Society has drilled it into men that showing emotion is unbecoming, and has created a myth of stoic invincibility that misleads those who care for them into believing that things don’t really affect men that much. But guys get hurt, same as everyone. It’s just that they’ve been conditioned to hide the hurt and to believe that expressing it would be futile. So as someone trying to comfort a guy, your first priority is to identify when he is not fine and to show him that you’re there to support him. The best way to do both is through active listening.
When he opens up about his concerns, feelings, or problems, lend a compassionate ear. Avoid interrupting or immediately offering solutions. Let him share his thoughts and emotions without judgment. By actively listening, you're showing that you care and value his perspective. And by doing so, you’re making it more likely for him to open up to you the next time he feels down.
Offer Your Presence
Because of this tendency of guys to not express their feelings so fully, you might perhaps feel that the support you’re trying to give is unappreciated, or you might be unsure how to proceed further. But it is important to understand that sometimes, just being there for your guy friend can provide immense comfort. Even if they don’t communicate that they appreciate it as explicitly as you’d wish. You have to understand where they are coming from. Men rarely, if at all, receive love and comfort through explicit verbalization from anybody other than close family or their partners; and even from such an intimate circle, it isn’t a surety.
Furthermore, they aren’t expected to express love freely, among themselves and with their friends, so much so that it even becomes taboo in some circles. So rest assured, even if they don’t much express it, they appreciate what you’re doing for them. And even if you don’t know how to go about talking it out, understand that physical presence or a simple message asking if he wants to hang out can still make a big difference. Spend time together doing activities he enjoys, like watching a movie, playing sports, or going for a walk. Your companionship can help him feel less alone during challenging times, and that counts for a lot, especially in light of how isolated many men tend to feel.
Respect His Privacy
While offering comfort, it's essential to respect your friend's boundaries and privacy. Reiterating what has been stated above, some men may not feel comfortable discussing their emotions openly. If he prefers to keep certain details to himself even after he opens up, respect his choice. You can offer support without prying, allowing him to let you in completely when he's ready. And if he decides against it altogether, so be it. The act of respecting his privacy in itself is a form of comforting him. It shows that you’re prioritizing his well-being over everything else.
Encourage Communication
Over everything else, encourage open and honest communication without judgment. Continually let him know that it's okay to talk about what's bothering him and that you're there to support him, no matter what. This will go a long way, not just in concern with the present problem, but also in improving his long-term mental health and fostering personal growth.
Express your willingness to help him overcome any obstacles and your appreciation for his views and feelings. This fosters trust and strengthens the consoling connection between you, giving him a secure environment in which to express himself.
Offer Practical Help
Comforting a guy friend doesn't always have to be about emotions; practical support can be just as meaningful. If he's going through a tough time, offer assistance with tasks or responsibilities that may be overwhelming for him. This could include helping him with chores, running errands, or even providing information or resources that might be useful.
These thoughtful actions not only lighten his load but also demonstrate your steadfast support. It's a way of saying, "I've got your back," and it strengthens the bond of friendship and mutual trust. By volunteering your help, you establish yourself as a dependable and consoling figure, making sure he never has to confront difficulties in life alone.
Conclusion
When it comes to the delicate art of consoling a male buddy, sincerity is more important than words when it comes to comforting a guy friend. Similar to a well-made cushion, support should be delicate but solid, providing a secure area for vulnerability. Being an anchor during a storm and realizing that sometimes quiet speaks louder than words are key. Recall that empathy is the thread that weaves your friendship together as you spread your emotional cushion. It's about uniting in resilience rather than solving problems. During these times, you turn into the support system he can depend on, the safety net of understanding and trust that strengthens your relationship.
Finally, remember that everyone is unique, and your approach should be tailored to your friend's preferences and needs. Guys are not a monolith and are just as unique and diverse in temperament and needs as anyone else. Not all of what is stated above might apply. None might, even! These are in the end, based on general observations, and it is up to you to decide how to best comfort your guy friend.
Written By: Girish P.
Edited By: Chirajita Gupta