The word “gent” or “gentleman” is used all the time these days in men’s magazines, blogs, and conversations. Everyone seems to use the word “gentlemen” for a wide range of men in videos.
A reader recently told us that anything other than the traditional definition of a gentleman is a disappointment. Someone else said that a gentleman would always have help and never cook for himself.
We couldn’t disagree more; the idea of a gentleman has changed for the better. Prince Phillip is a wealthy and well-known “gentleman,” but he is also known for his foul language and racist mistakes. Are these things that men should do? Definitely not.
Since “what a gentleman is” is so important, we thought it was time to explain how we see a gentleman now.
The First Man in a Suit
A gentleman was a wealthy, well-respected man a hundred years ago. This definition, along with a few others, can still be found in dictionaries.
A man who is kind, polite, or honest.
A formal or polite way to talk about a man.
A man from a noble family who works in the royal household
A man with a good social standing, especially one who is rich and has a lot of free time.
A polite name for a male member of the House of Commons or the House of Representatives.
So what exactly does it mean? Being a gent is about a lot more than just being polite. Traditional acts of chivalry can seem condescending, and “honour” is a vague term.
The title “gentleman” is no longer a sign of refinement and good character, as it once was for men with money and titles who didn’t have to work to make a living.
We think it’s a much more equal term, and these days, being called a gentleman means you’ve earned it. Wealth and power are no longer enough. In fact, they aren’t even a part of what it means to be successful today. You can’t buy class or respect with money or power.
How to Describe a Modern Gentleman
The term is much more complicated than that, and we think it’s important to explain why and how we use it and why the modern gent’s definition is important.
We’re sure that any man who wants to can be a gentleman, but it’s not an easy thing to do. It’s more of a journey than a destination. It’s something a man always tries to be. A gent is:
A gentleman has flaws- This quality may be the most important one on the list. The word “gentleman” isn’t meant to be a goal that can’t be reached. It takes into account the fact that we all make mistakes, choices, and decisions every day. The difference is that a gentleman doesn’t think he’s perfect. Instead, he takes ownership and responsibility for the things he can change, like his actions, what he knows, and how he sees the world.
A gentleman lives by strict rules.- People are more likely to do their best when they have high standards. Gentlemen set their own standards. A gentleman wants the things he buys and the things he does to be of high quality, good value, and useful. He has the same high standards for himself as he does for others.
A gentleman is well dressed- This shouldn’t come as a shock. A well-dressed man wears clothes that are right for the time of year, the event, and his own style. A gentleman dresses well not because he has a lot of money but because he carefully chooses his clothes and accessories based on his budget, the occasion, and his own tastes. His outfit shows that he knows how important clothes are, how they make people feel, and what role they play in society. Gentlemen wear clothes to show respect for their host, their office, or the host of an event. They don’t wear clothes to shock, make people jealous, or show off. A gentleman is proud of how well he dresses because it shows who he is and what he likes.
A gentleman knows how to act- We agree with the dictionary in this case. A gentleman is kind, respectful, and polite. He says please and thank you, waits his turn in line, and treats others the way they would like to be treated. He can hold his own in a conversation and has good table manners and dining etiquette.
A gentleman is open-minded- A gentleman doesn’t think that his thoughts and knowledge are the only ones that matter and can’t be questioned. He wants to learn, is open to new ideas, takes criticism well, and sees failure as a way to grow and learn about himself. A gentleman doesn’t argue just to feel good about being right. Instead, he tries to put himself in the shoes of other people so he can see things from their point of view.
A gentleman is interesting and knows what’s going on in the world- These days, it’s easy to get stuck in the sleep-work-Netflix-repeat cycle, which leaves people with nothing interesting to say. A man is interesting if he can hold a conversation about a wide range of topics, is interested in the world around him and how it works, and actively seeks to learn more for the sake of building his character and having fun. Hobbies and personal interests show what he is passionate about and how much he cares about things.
The things a gentleman does match what he says. Simply put, a gentleman only makes promises he plans to keep.
A gentleman is kind to other people- When we say “people,” we mean everyone, including women, coworkers, bosses, waiters, and people who work in customer service. This shows that a gentleman thinks everyone is born with the same rights. He doesn’t say he has more or less rights than those around him. He cares about people who don’t have as much as he does. He doesn’t think the world is a zero-sum game or that putting someone else down will make him feel better.
A gentleman knows the difference between being arrogant and being sure of himself- An egotistical man who thinks he is more important than others relies on what he thinks of himself in comparison to others. A gentleman has faith in himself and his skills, regardless of what other people think. An egotistical man must always win to feel good about himself, while a gentleman feels good about himself from the inside.
A gentleman knows how to use power well- Even though the saying “with great power comes great responsibility” could have come from many places, it is still true for a gentleman. If he is in a position of power, he uses that power for good, not for himself, by combining all of the above traits. Not out of anger, not to get something for himself, and not in a way that hurts other people’s rights.
A gentleman always thinks the best of people- In a hard world, it can be hard not to be cynical, but a gentleman chooses to give people the benefit of the doubt. A gentleman doesn’t automatically assume the worst of others; the driver who cut you off on the highway might have just gotten some bad news, and your friend might not return your call because they’re swamped at the office.
Then why does any of this matter? It’s important because being a gentleman sets a high standard that all men, including us, have to work every day to reach. Instead of being a place to get to, it’s a goal that comes from a lifelong quest for self-improvement, self-awareness, and motivation.
The highest honour is to be seen as a gent by the people around you, because this is a title that can only be given by other people. We say “gentleman” a lot, and we think the word should mean something. It’s not just a way to talk to other men; it’s also a statement about who we are and who we want to be.
How Difficult Is It to Be a Gentleman Every Day?
Even though all of this sounds good, it can be hard to live up to these ideals every single day. When a man is upset, tired, or stressed, he might say or do things that aren’t like him. When this happens, it’s important to say sorry, and if you mean it, people will accept it.
From handling people in the office to handling your loves ones at home. The gentleman’s role is not one of ease but of great honour and achievement. The road ahead might seem hazy at times with the burdens to be carried and the expectations to be met. The modern gentlemen has much more on his plate than any other generation prior. But at the end of it all, being a gentleman is not a task but a way of life. The smallest of things that a man does can entail his existence as being a gentleman!