We often learn new things as we age. It can be in any field, even when we are talking about sex. Like any knowledge, we gain it and improve ourselves through experience. Wouldn't it be nice to get a chance to tell your younger self what you learned and prevent the mistakes that you have made?
Through this article, we are exploring this through the eyes of a mature man. It is not just for reminiscing about the past but also for the readers who are going to explore their sexual lives or are getting their start in them.
Let's see what suggestions would an elder man give to his younger self about sex.
Understand the need for true consent
Whenever you're having sex, the first thing you've got to know is that you need real consent. Never do it without proper consent. Hear clearly from her what it is they want. Do they want just a kiss on the lips or real sex? Don't go overboard and do something that you will regret. Here is the way it goes, and no exceptions apply:
"No" is not yes."
"Maybe" does not imply yes.
Stop is not the same as yes.
Not acceptable is being unconscious, asleep, or very inebriated.
Only yes is true.
Do it when you are absolutely sure of it
As you get older, you will realize you are attracted to and excited about women. A number of women might even want to sleep with you. But remember, sex is not a joke; it is not just a physical thing.
Sex involves complex psychological and physiological processes that can have a long-term or even permanent impact on your mind. If you have sex with a partner and you regret it all your life, then it will surely affect all aspects of your life. So do it only when you're absolutely sure of your partner and your own maturity to handle it.
Remember, being intimate with someone will create a strong attachment to her. This is an evolutionary phenomenon that we human beings have developed in order to survive. Just like being in a relationship, this will have a toll on you if the partner is wrong or you are still not ready for it.
Always use protection
This can never be emphasized enough. If you are not willing to take the required precautions to prevent infection and an unexpected pregnancy, you should refrain from engaging in sexual activity. Use condoms only. They are accessible, affordable, and simple to use. The use of rubber on your blade is neither dishonorable nor unmanly.
You will have the same levels of satisfaction as with "regular" sex, and there is also the added benefit of STI and pregnancy protection. Keep in mind that when you harm someone else, you also harm your own life and the ambitions and dreams that you two share.
Also, don't forget to wash your spouse and yourself before you start.
There is glorification in doing it in sexy, sweaty bodies from movies, but trust me, it's not good for both of you. The exchange of bodily fluids is no less sensitive than surgery. So, have a shower, clean your private parts, and tell that to your partner too.
The person you love loves your quirks
Your lover wants you and is conscious of how you look. Your body is delicious, no matter what size, shape, or ability you have. Even if it makes ridiculous noises and does silly (but wonderful) things, everything is good. Give yourself some leeway and enjoy yourself without worrying excessively about perceived imperfections. You might be concerned that your partner's breasts are not symmetrical or that your penis is angled incorrectly. You will fall in love with them as you grow emotionally attached to them.
Nothing should be embarrassed of. Instead of having fun, use your flaws to create games. Let your partner enjoy your company and your physique.
People obsess over a perfect body so much that they forget to enjoy their lives. Enjoy your own and your partner's bodies as they are—flawed but real.
Don't let yourself get used
It is not appropriate to use you. Nobody is a deserving partner if they view you in such a manner. You don't need a manipulative person in your life to live happily. Rather, you need to show all of them the way out. Alone is preferable to unsavory company.
Not just that, you need to remember that your satisfaction and desires need to be fulfilled too. Don't just keep trying to satisfy your partner's needs while neglecting your personal wants. The fulfilling feeling needs to be mutual.
Sex is not just PIV
Remember, there is no single way to enjoy sex. It is a must if you are trying to have kids. But other than that, PIV is just another way to stimulate. Nothing more than that. Take your time and explore your partner.
Do not rush into something that you might regret later. Understand the needs of both yourself and your partner, and do what you both enjoy. There are other ways to enjoy this party than just involving your members.
Bottom Line: What Young Men Need To Know About Sex
Young men should prioritize understanding consent, communication, and mutual respect in their sexual experiences. Consent is paramount, and it should be enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing. They should also grasp the importance of safe sex practices to protect themselves and their partners from sexually transmitted infections and unintended pregnancies. Open and honest communication with their partners about desires, boundaries, and expectations is crucial for a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. Moreover, they should be aware of the emotional aspects of sex and be prepared for the complexities of intimate connections. Finally, being sensitive to their partner's needs, cultivating empathy, and embracing diversity in sexual preferences are key elements for a positive and respectful sexual journey.
Always remember to stop whenever you feel something is wrong. You don't need to drag anything down the road the moment you think that something is not right, even when it might come with consequences.
If being intimate with someone feels like a burden to you or the person you are being close with, you need to talk it out. If you understand you are not fit for each other, don't push yourself or your partner into a relationship. Remember, sexual relationships must feel like a pleasure to you; they should not become a ritual. Keep that in mind and trust your gut. You will be very successful and happy if you follow these hard-earned experiences from your older self.
Written By - Indraneil Mukherjee.
Edited By - Chirajita Gupta.