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Writer's pictureBFH Team

Men and their Hidden Insecurities

We are all pretty aware that when it comes to men, they are great at hiding their emotions and insecurities. However, no matter how well-groomed and good looking a man might be, he might still be dealing with a good amount of insecurities that the other gender sometimes has no idea about.

The problem is that men never speak up or seek help.They might have a great, carved body, yet something might be troubling them. Making men talk about it is almost an impossible task, as men are brought up with a masculine idea of ‘showing their vulnerable side makes them weak’.

They might have a well paying job but something, on the other hand, might be making them lose their hair. As they were raised with the idea that boys don’t cry and boys are strong, they start believing that talking about their insecurities will make them look weak or they will lose their masculinity.

However, suffering in silence isn’t the answer to having certain insecurities. As human beings, we all go through some sort of struggles in life. Of course, life doesn’t become perfect with six-pack abs. You are bound to have some sort of insecurities as no one is perfect.

Have a look below to find out what are the most common insecurities that men have in their lives:

Career Insecurities

While he is paying for that expensive date he surprised you with, he might also be thinking about how he is supposed to pay rent for that month. However, he didn’t say a word about it, did he? Of course he didn’t!

The truth is that the identity of most men is connected to their jobs and if they aren’t well paid, their insecurity starts developing around it. If you have noticed, the first question a man is asked in a social gathering or a party is what they do for a living. Their job is their identity and if they answer that they are in a low level job, they themselves feel bad about it.

On the other hand, some men join high paying jobs that they don’t prefer just for the money and the financial security that they offer. However, they end up hating what they do for a living.

The solution is that if you do want to open up a restaurant rather than being a risk analyst, you should go for it. You need to be confident about your idea as well as your business plan. If it has the right concept, it will certainly work out. Just thinking about your dream job won’t help; you need to work for it, even if it doesn’t pay you enough in the beginning.

It can be scary to even think about doing so, but the first step has to be taken to get that job satisfaction you always wanted. Apart from that, indulge in mindfulness meditation to let that stress go away and relax a little bit. It will certainly help you in keeping away the negative thoughts and being in the present moment.

Losing their Hair

While men are styling their hair with hair gel and hairspray, they might also be thinking about what if they lose their hair. Many men start losing their hair and get a bald patch at a young age, like in their early 30s and go on to become fully bald. It is a nightmare for men when it comes to thinking about losing their hair.

There can be many reasons for it. It can be genetic, due to stress or diet. However, facing the world, especially women, with no hair can make them lose their confidence as well as self-esteem. They believe that they might get less or no attention from women or might be mocked by people at work and social gatherings.

If you don’t accept yourself as the way you are, you might start losing your hair over nothing. Hair is a part of your body image for sure, but don’t stress over it. In fact, if you are already bald, embrace it rather than hiding it with a wig.

And you might not know this but some women are attracted to bald men. So that part shouldn’t be a headache for you at all. Once again, start accepting yourself and loving yourself just the way you are. You may not be able to style your hair everyday, but getting a haircut every once in a while won’t be on your to-do list anymore!

Short Height

If you don’t come into the tall, dark and handsome category just because you are short in height, believe me it’s not worth losing your mind ovre. Men who are short in height are often insecure about it as they feel that women won’t be attracted to them and no one will take them seriously.

However, being tall or short is in no one’s hand. It is in your genes that will either make you a tall man or a short one. Being insecure about it and hating yourself for it is a waste of time. And if you are popping pills that say that they will make you taller, then it is a waste of money as well.

Your height is certainly a part of your body image and feeling that your height is coming in the way of making you attractive is quite common. However, body shaming yourself for it won’t help either. Be confident of who you are and how you look and carry yourself in style. So what if you are short? At least you are a gentleman!

A Dominating Relationship

While some men like to be in a stable relationship, some end up in a dominating and manipulative relationship, where they do everything to please their partner and yet have a leash on their neck. A controlling partner is everything a man doesn’t need in his life and yet some men silently suffer in such a relationship with tons of insecurities about it.

Of course, such a relationship is not going to last for a long time, so why go through it and drag it along. Such relationships make men lose their essence and they are unable to make decisions about important things as their partner does all the deeds. This can make them lose their self-confidence as well as their self-esteem. And we know that you don’t want that to happen.

So if you are in such a relationship, put yourself first and break all the chains. Nobody needs that kind of toxicity in their lives. You deserve a better partner who respects you and accepts you the way you are. There is always an option to end such a toxic relationship where you can’t even breathe.

Fear of Saying I Love You

Dating is a wonderful experience where you have someone to rely on and when it turns into a relationship, it gets even better. Both of you can go to romantic getaways, dates and share some of the best experiences. However, one of the best gestures a man can make is saying ‘I Love You’ and yet many men are scared of saying so.

One fear can be that their beloved won’t say it back and it might get awkward. Another reason might be that they just have the fear of commitment. They don’t want to get attached to just one person. Commitment phobia is apparently quite common in men.

No matter what your reason is, if you have feelings for someone, it is better to just say it. You won’t regret it. What if they say it back. Won’t that be a happy ending for you? Keeping it inside will only increase your insecurity and will cause more stress. How weird it will be when your partner is right in front of you and you can’t even tell them what you feel about them.

Conclusion

We know that as men, you shy away from expressing your emotions and feelings. It doesn’t feel that a strong man should do so. You were never even taught how to do so while you were being raised.

However, as a grown up man you should understand that everyone is going through their own insecurities and struggles, just like you are. Talking about them won’t make you any less of a man. Whether you decide to talk about them amongst your friends, family or a clinical therapist, that’s your call.

You might be going through all of the above insecurities or just one or two of them. But as you talk about them it will only help you out and make you feel at ease. No matter what image a man portrays in public, he always has a side where he struggles with his insecurities. And talking about it will only help.

Let your vulnerable side come out and talk it through, even if with your partner. Don’t always believe that you can handle things on your own, because honestly, that is not true. As soon as you start speaking, you will start feeling relaxed and the negative vibes will leave because you will have someone to rely on with your insecurities. You can’t always be a hero; you might need a hero as well!

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