As our lives increasingly shifted into the virtual realm during the pandemic, our dating experiences were significantly impacted. Fortunately, dating apps have adapted to this new normal, offering us the convenience of connecting with others from the comfort of our homes, often in loungewear.
However, as the world gradually reopens, many men are faced with the challenging transition from virtual interactions to in-person dates. The prospect of meeting someone face-to-face can be nerve-wracking and daunting, especially for individuals like myself who fall into the ambivert category.
So, if you've mustered the courage to say yes to an actual date but find yourself torn between going through with it or ghosting due to sheer fear, rest assured that we're here to support you. We've compiled a set of tips to help you navigate that Tinder date. With our advice, we believe you'll not only handle it with finesse but may also earn some extra brownie points (if you catch my drift).
Here's some valuable advice:
Do your research and be prepared
While it's true that women may sometimes invest more time in researching their upcoming dates, men can benefit from putting in some effort to gather important information before meeting someone. I don't advocate for hours of stalking, but I do recommend doing your due diligence. Take a closer look at your previous conversations; note their likes and dislikes, and identify any topics you both connected on. Politely inquire about their appearance. This not only ensures you're not falling victim to catfishing but also provides a guideline for what to expect.
Speaking of preparation, it's essential for men to present themselves well in both appearance and demeanor. Plan your attire (avoid shorts, flip-flops, or t-shirts with slogans; this isn't a casual outing), and carefully choose the location for your meeting. The environment can significantly influence those initial conversations. And if you're genuinely interested in getting to know them, consider avoiding movie dates. Oh, and be punctual!
Keep your other dates and phones out of the conversation
We understand that you might be excited about your Tinder experiences, but honestly, nobody wants to hear an elaborate account of your conquests. It's not impressive or endearing when you talk about how you've moved on from your ex or how you've already lined up another date while you're on one. It sends a clear message that you're not fully engaged with the person right in front of you.
To demonstrate genuine interest, keep your phone on silent or vibrate mode, face down, and out of reach during your date. You can discreetly check for any important missed calls when your date is away, such as during a restroom break. Until then, prioritize being present and make a real effort to listen, especially if you're not naturally talkative. Be punctual, show understanding, and strive to be a considerate and pleasant person. Remember, not everyone is just looking for casual fun.
Make your intentions clear from the start
Building upon the previous point, it's crucial to acknowledge that not every individual you encounter or go on a date with is seeking mere 'fun.' Dating app users have diverse intentions, and not everyone is interested in a casual relationship or just a simple hangout. Therefore, it's highly advisable to be upfront about your intentions. History has consistently demonstrated that honesty remains the best policy. Even if your date doesn't lead to a romantic connection, being forthright ensures that you might, at the very least, gain an honest and engaging friend from the experience.
After the date
As your date draws to a close and the conversation continues to flow seamlessly, you may find yourself on the verge of asking that pivotal question: "Want to come over?" If you genuinely feel like taking the conversation to the next level and extending the evening at your place, don't hesitate to express your desire. The worst-case scenario is that they might decline, and it's important not to take that personally. Going to a stranger's home on a first date can be intimidating, and not everyone may be comfortable with it.
However, if they do decide to join you, as we've mentioned before, preparation is key. Ensure that your room, home, and living space are tidy and that the bathroom is presentable. No stray undergarments, clothes, or clutter on the floor. Everything should be in order, and consider having a drink ready for both of you to enjoy.
Follow Up
Demonstrating that you genuinely care and that the date wasn't just a one-time occurrence is a thoughtful gesture. Even if you believe it might be a one-time date, it's important to convey this in a courteous manner. Consider the following steps:
Ensure safety: After the date, send a message asking if they arrived home safely. This shows your concern for their well-being.
Express Enjoyment: Let them know how much you enjoyed the date. Mention specific aspects or moments that made it enjoyable for you. This reinforces the positive experience you shared.
Open Communication: Be open and honest about your intentions. If you're interested in seeing them again, express your desire for a second date. If you feel it was a one-time thing, communicate this with respect and appreciation for the time spent together.
By taking these steps, you not only increase the likelihood of a second date but also ensure that your date understands your intentions clearly and appreciates the effort you put into making the date memorable.
Written by: Aakanksha Bajpai
Edited by: Aniket Joshi