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Writer's pictureBFH Team

How to Help a Man Who is Feeling Low

When a man is feeling low or feeling depressed it is hard to explain the emotions that he is going through. It is a constant cycle of loneliness, stress, as well as the need to be alone even though the man needs someone at the same time during that period.

A lot of men end up feeling low or feeling depressed without knowing the main cause of it. This negative energy somehow builds up in a lot of men and they end up feeling low even if they are at a party, surrounded by a crowd and hardly feel happy even if they are busy in their hobbies or spending time with their family.

If you know a man who has been feeling low or depressed and makes it harder for you to indulge in a conversation or any kind of activity with him, as you believe that you might either do or say the wrong thing, making him feel worse than ever, then only thing we suggest you is to just be there for them. It can be tough when you have a male friend who has been feeling low or someone in your family, like your father, son or brother.

As our society has made it amply clear that men are not supposed to be vulnerable, it becomes a little hard for someone who is close to them to understand when they might be going through depression and once noted, then understanding how they can be helpful to their loved one.

Keeping this in mind, we have come up with a few ways with which you can help a man who has been feeling low or depressed. Let us have a look:

Telling Them You Care

When a man is feeling low or depressed, he often feels that the whole world is against him. It seems to him that no one cares about his feelings and everyone judges him no matter what he does. This is the time when you need to tell or show him that you care about him. Saying that you care, a nice hug or a gentle touch of a hand will mean a lot to him as well as make him believe that there are people looking out for him.

Recognise Symptoms

If a man is feeling too low and is isolating himself rather than spending time with his friends or going out for social gatherings, it might be a sign of depression. This is the time when you need to step up and try to recognise the symptoms of depression rather than letting him fall into it. Some of these symptoms of depression are as follows:

  1. Seeming more sad or tearful than usual.

  2. Appearing more pessimistic than usual or hopeless about the future.

  3. Talking about feeling guilty, empty, or worthless more often than usual.

  4. Seeming less interested in spending time together or communicating less frequently than they normally would.

  5. Getting upset easily or seeming unusually irritable.

  6. Having less energy than usual, moving slowly, or seeming generally listless.

  7. Having less interest in their appearance than usual or neglecting basic hygiene, such as showering and brushing their teeth.

  8. Having trouble sleeping or sleeping much more than usual.

  9. Caring less about their usual activities and interests.

  10. Experiencing forgetfulness more often or having trouble concentrating or deciding on things.

  11. Eating more or less than usual.

  12. Talking about death or suicide.

Help in Finding Support

While a man might be feeling low or depressed, it is hard for him to understand that he might be going through depression and would need professional support, such as therapy, to get out of it. If you talk about taking therapy with him, he might laugh about it or get irritated about the fact that he needs help. However, it is your job to make him realise that he truly needs a therapist who can assist him in getting out of their depression (if he is in depression) as well as help him find a good therapist.

It can be daunting when it comes to finding a good therapist as not every therapist is made for all. However, help him try out a few of them and make sure that once he has found the right one and also that he never misses out on his therapy sessions.

Listen to Him

One of the major problems of a man who is feeling low is that he believes that no one will take him seriously, so he bottles up his feelings and emotions rather than sharing them with his loved ones. There are a lot of thoughts erupting in his mind, however, he chooses not to talk about them, which makes him feel even more low as well as can lead him to depression. In this scenario, the best thing that you can do is listen to him, his feelings and his thoughts about whatever is happening in his life. You need to ask him open ended questions, in this case, so that he can feel comforted, supported and safe.

Apart from that, if you need to bring up a sensitive topic, bring it up at a time when both of you are comforted, relaxed and there is some privacy. If he does not want to talk about something, do not push him as it will only make him upset.

Take Him Seriously

Most of the time, when a man is feeling low or depressed, most of the people around him tell him to ‘snap out of it’ or ‘cheer up’, although it is a mental health issue. A man cannot just forget about his negative thoughts or stop feeling low, as if he is a robot. As their friend or a loved one, you need to acknowledge that what they are feeling must be difficult to handle and not tell them that their feelings are not weird or unfounded. Listen to what they are feeling and let them express their thoughts while taking them seriously.

Conclusion

Whether you are his partner, a parent, or a friend, you need to understand that a man’s mental health is at the top priority. If he is mentally unwell, he will not be able to perform even the most basic and simple tasks in life. While you do want to help him out, there are a few things that you must not do, such as taking things personally when they say something about you, try to treat them by yourself, give advice, compare their experience or give them any sort of medication. You can help him out by the above given ways and make life easier for him.

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