A story of coming too soon

Mayank and Monika were good friends and soon they fell in love. Both were on their first date. One great kiss led to another and then they were in bed. In a matter of minutes, it was over. Way too soon.”He was so quick,” Monika  recalls. “And so embarrassed. He looked like a little boy who had broken his mother’s favorite dish. He kept saying, ‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry.'” And then he cried.


Millions of men likely can relate – although they’re not usually eager to say so. Premature ejaculation (PE), the medical term for men who come too soon , is the most common male sexual problem with almost 30 to 40% men think that they ejaculate earlier than desired.It occurs  before or shortly after penetration causing distress to one or both partners.There is no fixed time limit but the diagnosis is based man’s /couple’s sexual activity and expectations. Occasional episodes of PE usually aren’t anything to worry about. If you experience premature ejaculation sometimes and normal ejaculation other times, you may be diagnosed with natural variable premature ejaculation.You may need treatment if PE occurs frequently or has occurred for an extended period of time.

PE is usually categorised as lifelong or acquired.

Lifelong (primary) PE means you’ve had this experience always or almost always since your first sexual experience.

Acquired (secondary) PE means you’ve had longer lasting ejaculations in your life, but have developed PE. 

Behind the inability to endure can be many factors. Emotional factors can play a role: Stress, Depression, Anxiety, Guilt, Relationship problems, Lack of confidence or poor body image, Concern over your sexual performance, Negative feelings about the idea of sex .Others include unusual hormone levels, Irregular levels of neurotransmitters (an imbalance of the chemicals in  brain that pass messages or impulses to the rest of your body), Inflammation or an infection in  prostate or urethra and Genetic traits you inherit from your parents. Some medical conditions like Diabetes, Multiple sclerosis and hyperthyroidism may also lead to this condition.

Sometimes PE can be a problem for men with erectile dysfunction (ED). That’s when the penis doesn’t remain firm enough for sex. Men who are worried they could lose their erection may develop a pattern of rushing to ejaculate. In such case treating the erectile dysfunction may make the premature ejaculation go away.

Some men ejaculate too quickly due to an innate “reflex” or physiological predisposition of the nervous system. Sometimes, too-fast ejaculation can be a side effect of taking certain drugs — even over-the-counter ones such as cold pills.The therapy  of PE includes Psychosexual counselling, behavioural therapy and pharmacotherapy.

About the Author of this Story on Premature Ejaculation

Dr. Shivam Priyadarshi is the Professor and Head of the Department of Urology at S.M.S.Medical College Hospital, Jaipur, India. He is a Andrologist of international repute and is the chief author of Indian Guidelines for Male Infertility. He has held many senior positions for societies in Indian Urology.

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