Let me take a wild guess here, you've checked out her Instagram story and are just staring at that "Message" button, contemplating about what your next move should be. You want to talk to her, but you fear getting the blue ticks of doom or being called a 'creep'-again, does that sound familiar? Trust me, I have been there. Sliding into DMs isn't the easiest thing since it sounds creepy; however, with efficiency, this can open up a door for genuine conversations and possibly a connection.
Now, the burning question that you are waiting for: how to send a message without putting her off? Stick around and I will let you in on all the secrets of DM etiquette,how to avoid sending creepy messages, and most importantly, impress her the right way.
Step 1: Start with a Genuine Intent
First, understand the reason or purpose behind sliding into a person's DMs. Do you have genuine interest in her as a person, or is she just anyone to whom you are chanting copy-paste messages? Trust me bro, The girls can smell the difference.
Instead of flirting with girls, try commenting or appreciating something on her profile or content. Did she post a beautiful photograph of a book you love? Mention it. Did she post an interesting meme? Use it to kick-off! This would surely show that you are paying attention, not just fishing for attention.
Step 2: Keep It Light and Respectful
One of the most common mistakes guys make is coming on too strong too soon. Immediately flirting or sending suggestive messages is bound to make her feel uncomfortable. You're not trying to seal the deal in the first message.
Think of the first DM as a handshake, not a marriage proposal. Treat her like a great, respectable girl and show interest in her. Avoid any corny pick-up lines or compliments that just aren't sincere.
Do you know the one compliment most girls secretly hate? Keep reading to find out.
The compliments like 'You're hot' or 'You're beautiful' are viewed as compliments. However, they have been overused and ironically make most girls roll their eyes. Instead, compliment a quality of hers: sense of humor, creativity, or taste in music, instead of just focussing on her outer appearance or physical features.
Step 3: Respect Her Boundaries
There is a more definitive answer: not hearing back from her is no justification for sending a follow-up text. Never text her more than once. Just don't do it. If she's really interested, she will respond when she's ready. In the meantime, stop flooding her inbox.
It's going to be okay if she doesn't respond. Just move on in style. Being polished and sedate is more attractive than being desperate and shows how you respect her space.
When talking to a girl, avoid personal questions for a while. "Are you single?" "Can I have your number?"; only ask that much later when things fall into place or avoid it altogether.
Step 4: Make Her Laugh
Girls are always attracted to guys who can make them laugh, so humor is always of assistance when you decide to slide into someone’s DM. Yet, for sure, never use being funny as an excuse to make an offensive or crude joke.
For example, if she posts a funny meme, a comeback could be something like “This meme speaks to my soul—are we the same person?” Lively and light-hearted banter is always relaxed and fun.
Want to know the easiest way to tell if your humor works? If she sends you the laughing emoji or picks up on your joke, congratulations; you are right on track. If not, then change your tactics and try to ask her something sincere regarding her interests.
Step 5: Add Value to the Conversation
Sliding into DMs isn’t just about talking to girls; it’s about all those other girls hitting you up. For this to happen, you have to make it worthwhile for her; give her something to work with. Maybe that can be finding a perspective on something common, maybe a cool book or movie recommendation, or maybe a simple question relating to whatever seems to get her excited.
For instance: "I saw your post about [topic]. What are your thoughts?" This shows you care, plus it makes her feel valued.
Sliding into direct messages can often be nerve-wracking but, with the right mindset and approach, you can shine amidst the several boring messages that pile up in her DMs. Keep in mind, it's not just about how to message effectively, but establishing genuine rapport.
The next time you wish to DM that girl you have a crush on, ask yourself: Am I being genuine? Am I respecting her space? Am I adding value to the conversation? If your answer is yes, then go ahead and hit send. And who knows, this very DM may yield something great.