Why do men Struggle with “we need to talk” conversations?

Have you ever asked your partner what’s wrong and he responded, “Nothing” to your question? So it’s likely he’s trying to avoid talking about something important. Why your man avoids having real conversations with you is a mystery. You may have made an effort to discuss the relationship’s future, where it is headed, or why he isn’t as invested in it as you are. He dismisses your worries, though, and turns away from addressing them. Men are frequently scared away by these “we need to talk” conversations.

Here are several reasons why men are avoiding meaningful chats and conversations.

Men fear disappointing others.

Men fear disappointing others.

How well can your man live up to your standards?

Just consider it. It’s not easy for us either to address our future plans and have it all sorted out. Men fear that they are going to disappoint that essential person in their lives by telling them what they think. Because they are afraid of not being understood or of not living up to our expectations, they suppress their emotions. They also feel “in control” or “powerful” when they have their own secrets about future plans.

So what’s that?

Maybe they do so because they don’t want anybody to view them in a negative light. He’ll experience disappointment and failure. However, he feels more in charge of his life and more powerful as long as he keeps them a secret. He avoids meaningful conversations for a variety of reasons, one of which is that he doesn’t want to be vulnerable for fear of being rejected or let down.

He isn’t prepared to commit.

He isn't prepared to commit.

Men usually dismiss the question about the future. The words “everything’s OK” or “we’re doing well,” perhaps. It’s possible the guy isn’t prepared to commit if that’s the case.

And that’s just fine! since everyone has their own timeline for these things. Before truly committing, they must first feel at ease. And before they feel prepared to make this commitment, it could take them a month, two months, or even a year. Therefore, don’t worry about it. He can evolve and feel more at ease with his love for you if you allow him the time and space to do so. He might be worried that if he shares his ideas, they won’t come to pass, and you’ll be let down. Or he might be concerned that sharing how his life is going with you will make you sad.

So, in order not to hurt or disappoint you, he doesn’t talk to you about anything. The fact is that a man might be concealing something in this circumstance. Furthermore, it isn’t the case that he won’t commit to you. His lack of self-commitment is the problem.

What can you then do?

So, rather than asking him about his future ambitions, try asking him about his plans for himself.

  • Here are some queries that can be useful:
  • What do you want out of life? Which personality type do you wish to be?
  • What would bring you true joy?
  • How do you feel when you witness happiness in others?
  • What emotions do they evoke in you?
  • Do they annoy you and make you envious? Or do they simply accept it? If not, why not?

So rather than frightening him by asking him about their future plans together, ask him about his future aspirations for himself.

The fear of rejection

The fear of rejection

Another reason why men might not go deep in a conversation is because they fear rejection. He does so out of fear that he’ll be rejected.

But we can look at this from a different perspective because he is more likely to fully commit when he feels uncomfortable with the prospect of rejection. Once he does, most of his worries will go away, and he’ll be able to talk about his plans for the future and make a final commitment. But keep in mind that this is something that can only function if you let it. Therefore, the next time your partner avoids discussing his future goals, don’t press him; just let it happen.

He feels overwhelmed by this relationship.

He feels overwhelmed by this relationship.

Men usually get uncomfortable when they are cared for too much, which was not the case for them earlier. Men are indeed considered to be self-reliant. Their capacity to hold love and express themselves is frequently far inferior to what they receive.In such cases, they are unsure what to do with all of the love you have showered upon them. It overwhelms them and makes them feel too full.

 In this situation, even the woman can feel that the man is not giving as much as she is to the relationship. However, based on his expression, he may be giving it all. Everybody’s hundredth of a percent is different.

Takeaway

When men avoid “we need to talk” conversations, there can be many possible reasons for that. Often we skip the understanding part and start with the blame game that men are emotionally unavailable. But the fact is he might be thinking or feeling the above-mentioned things which is making his escape from such conversation. Understanding is the key. 

Palak Sharma
Palak Sharma
Articles: 94
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