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You may not realise it, but social awareness skills can mean the difference between winning and losing when attempting to form interpersonal relationships. The ability to understand those around you, what they are thinking and feeling, and how your actions affect them is referred to as social awareness. People frequently use adjectives such as “creepy” or “scary” to describe someone who not only lacks social awareness but also behaves in ways that elicit fear and anxiety during social interactions.
While poor social awareness is not gender-specific, men are commonly blamed for being perceived as creepy/scary by women. While this is offensive and debatable, we cannot deny that most cases of creepiness are associated with men.
You may not intend to be creepy, but certain behaviours and actions may be perceived as creepy by women. Let’s get you up to speed on the various ways you might appear creepy to women without realising it!
1) Becoming aggressive when rejected
Many men base their self-worth on being accepted and sexually desired by women. When they are rejected (romantically) by women, they interpret it as a threat to their manhood.
As a result, some emotionally weak men attempt to reassert their masculinity through aggression, often in the form of verbally and, in some cases, physically accosting women.
If you’re that kind of guy, maybe you should work on finding your self-worth outside of sex and women before dating anyone. Your self-esteem should never be determined by whether or not the opposite gender finds you attractive. That is only about 2% of your total self-worth. Women are not obligated to love and care for you simply because you are a man. Not everyone will like you, so accept that and move on with a grain of salt.
2) Hitting on women in inappropriate places
Even as a man, it would irritate you if a random person you have no interest in tried to chat while you were trapped in a broken elevator. Based on the news and situations, you can probably imagine how much worse it would feel for women. But don’t let that fool you into thinking that every man you meet and talk to is a creep.
But, returning to the elevator situation, they are tiny closed spaces that force you to stand in close proximity to others. Because you are technically immobile and can’t excuse yourself to go somewhere else, any conversation that goes beyond pleasantries feels awkward. Going in to smell someone without their consent, elevator or not, is creepy.
The first rule of elevator etiquette is to keep your mouth shut. If you need to say something, wait until both of you are outside. Unless it’s something extremely important, formal, and informative.
3) Pursuing women at work
Leave the women at work alone, fellas. The same is true for women working in the service industry, such as cashiers, shop assistants, customer service representatives, servers, and so on.
Making sexual advances toward coworkers is never a good idea. If your advances are unwelcome, your coworker could easily accuse you of sexual harassment. Why jeopardise your job over a girl? You may have heard of several cases of sexual harassment at work where the victim is sometimes correct while the accused suffers for no real reason. To be on the safe side, avoid having an informal conversation with a female coworker at all.
There are so many other ways to meet women that don’t involve putting them in an awkward position while they eke out a living. There are numerous other locations where the appropriate environment will present itself for you to make any moves to woo a senorita.
4) You are not pursuing women of your age
It’s strange to see an older guy (30+) trying to get it on with a young girl, especially one who appears to be a teenager. Not to imply that there is something wrong with a large age gap relationship, but rather the disparity in maturity levels between the man and the girl. It feels predatory, especially if it isn’t consensual.
And the notion that men prefer younger girls because they are more attractive, energetic, and have less baggage is nonsense. These are not characteristics that are unique to youth. The same can be said for women over the age of 30.
If you want to know the minimum acceptable age for a dating partner, there is a general rule of thumb that every man (and woman) should follow. Men who consistently approach women half their age usually have an ulterior motive, which best describes the lamb-wolf relationship. The lamb’s innocence and inexperience make it an easy target for the wolf to exploit. Don’t be “that” person.
You multiply your age by two and multiply it by seven. So, if you are 40 years old, the minimum dateable age should be 27. If you do manage to find someone like that and you’re both happy, that’s great, but that’s not where your limits end. There are obviously such real-life cases of couples, but they are extremely rare.
5) Pretending to be generous
What is it about men who go overboard when it comes to spending money on women they barely know? Do they not realise that such behaviour would be repulsive to the majority of women? After all, nothing comes for free. If you really want to court her, don’t go shopping for gifts before you’ve even gone on a single date. It shows that you are desperate, which may be off-putting to women because it indicates a weak man with no self-esteem.
Making excuses by claiming to be a “generous guy” will not help either. It will add fuel to the fire. Take note of when the girl tells you to stop. Stop it immediately or else the girl will feel dominated because you are not listening to her and you will be slapped. Nobody wants such a happy ending.
Most guys become angry and bitter because the girl does not accept the gifts and begin to blame her, which is an obvious sign of a creepy man.
So, gentlemen, keep in mind that true generosity comes with no strings attached. Don’t use money or being nice to manipulate others. It never works as well as you think it should.
6) Failing to understand that NO means NO!
This is related to the previous point as well. No means no, fellas!
This is important to understand because it relates to the concept of consent.
It all boils down to a lack of empathy and respect for the boundaries of others.
When someone says no, don’t try to interpret it. There is no ambiguity or reading between the lines. Don’t try to persuade them otherwise — no means no. Continue your search for someone who is genuinely interested in you. Alternatively, take a moment to reflect on it and discuss the issue. Rest assured, the girl will open up. If it’s just a simple rejection, swallow it, accept that not everyone views you positively, and move on. There will always be people who genuinely care about you and admire you for who you are.
7) Not handling rejection with grace
One reason women avoid being direct and honest with men is because of this. Because being direct frequently results in unfavourable outcomes, as you may have witnessed in many scenarios or may be guilty of yourself.
Without a doubt, rejection is painful. It is not something that anyone wants in any shape or form.
But what is the point of stalking or harassing someone you barely know? All you’ll accomplish is to permanently distance yourself from your love interest. Many men struggle with the issue of reacting more aggressively or violently in the face of rejection. They can’t control their emotions and end up tantruming like a child.
Always keep in mind that not everyone you meet will be interested in you!
Accept rejection with grace and humility. That, on the other hand, appears more appealing to women because it depicts a mature or humble man who understands the ways of life.
Who knows what might happen if a man decides not to erupt in a rage when rejected? Perhaps they could have remained on good terms, and the woman could have introduced him to her girlfriends, which will never happen if you lose control in the face of rejection.
8) Failure to recognise body language
There is nothing inherently wrong with approaching women while out and about. Many people have had a lot of success doing exactly that.
The issue here is that some guys are so focused on talking to the girl that they miss nonverbal cues that indicate a person is not interested in being approached.
It demonstrates a lack of tact and social awareness. As a true Gentleman, you must be aware of how others perceive you based on your actions and act accordingly. Knowing how to read body language is one of the most important lessons you will learn on your journey to becoming a true man.
Unless someone is showing you through open nonverbal cues such as eye contact, smiling, open palms, and posture, it’s best not to approach at all. It is one of the most obvious differences between a gentleman and a creepy dude.
9) Crossing the line between flirtation and harassment
It’s not flirting if it’s unwanted, fellas. Then it’s sexual harassment! Flirting is always enjoyable when it is mutual, but if you notice that the person is not comfortable with your advances, please step back and stop bothering her. It is one of the most innocuous but certain ways of coming across as a creepy man.
Sexually charged conversations should be reserved for women who have a genuine romantic interest in you.
10) Unsolicited photographs
When it comes to sexy photos, there is only one rule that men must follow:
If a girl explicitly requests pictures of your package, by all means comply. Of course, only if that’s what you want. If a girl does not request it, never send her pictures of your dick. It’s a common misconception that women despise sexy photos.
Sure, some people will dislike them regardless of the circumstances. However, many women will not mind as long as consent is given and it comes from someone they want to receive it from.
What women despise is receiving unsolicited photos from men they barely know, which is downright creepy. You gentlemen should know better than to do such things.
11) Inconsistency makes women uncomfortable
Being creepy does not imply being sexual or outspoken. Women find it refreshing when men are respectfully direct with their intentions.
The issue is that most men are anything but straightforward. They skirt around the issue, pretending they don’t want sex/romance when, in reality, they do. Women are not illiterate. They can tell when a guy has a hidden agenda. They will frequently interpret this lack of consistency in behaviour as creepy.
Men should be respectful and honest without being pushy. It will significantly simplify the process of connecting with women. As BFH gentlemen, we are here to help you be attractive to women rather than creepy.
12) Your machismo makes women uncomfortable
Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for men to try to impress women by threatening to harm another man because he allegedly disrespected her.
A recent example of this behaviour occurred at the Oscars, when Will Smith attacked Chris Rock for making a joke about his wife. Aggression is not as appealing as some men believe. This type of behaviour is more likely to make women fearful of you than anything else.
If you’re willing to harm another man, especially for something so insignificant. When things don’t go your way, what’s to stop you from getting physical with her? Now, if your and your loved ones’ lives are in danger, you have every right to defend yourself, but that is not what we are discussing here.
Respecting boundaries, being accountable, honest, and being an attentive partner are all more effective ways of demonstrating that you are a good protector.
Being called creepy by a woman does not always have anything to do with you as a person.
It’s unfortunate that some people use the term “creepy” to describe anyone they don’t like. Such people are simply not to be taken seriously. Even so, it is possible to make women feel uneasy and scared. Fortunately, the solution to that problem is relatively simple.
Everything boils down to making women feel safe. When she feels safe and comfortable around you, it becomes nearly impossible to creep her out. Being socially aware is the best way to build comfort. If you lack social skills, consider hiring a social skills coach. Trust me, it will be worthwhile.
If you don’t have the money to hire a coach, start socialising with anyone — young, old, men, women — as long as you get yourself out there. The more practise you have interacting with people, the less awkward you will be when you have to talk to a woman you like.