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Are you struggling to forgive someone who might have hurt you recently and are not sure about how to move on? Here are some ways to put your mind at ease.
During recent times, with lockdown in place and work from home becoming the new normal, we all faced situations where the proximity of our loved ones and the frustrating situation of sharing space 24/7, led to many heated arguments. These arguments and misunderstanding over the time would have died down but the hurt might not have.
Forgiveness is complex, speacially for men. Although, it’s important to remember that you can be hurt by someone’s action and feel the impact of their words or actions but can still forgive them and move on. A major part of forgiveness includes letting things go and moving on. It is something that not only helps the other person to go on with their lives, but also brings out a sense of relief to the person forgiving. The important part is as a man, one needs to keep their ego aside if they want to move on with their lives.
Although, forgiving is not an easy task to be done. It requires strength and kindness which this world lacks more than anything else. So, how should one go about it? Here are some ways to help you forgive:
Have a talk with yourself
We are generally very open to talk and listen to others when we see a loved one going through some hard times. But we forget to apply this rule to our own self. When we know that we are hurting, the very first step to the road of recovery should be to give yourself time, talk to your own self about the feelings and the hurt. Men need to be all ears to their inner self as in this loud world it is pretty easy to drown our own voice.
This process will not only help you to put yourself on the road of recovery but also makes it clear about what exactly it might be that is hurting you. The process of self awareness can lead many to a new path and become a cornerstone in healing. Once you are self aware of your hurt, it is now time to move on to the next step.
The very important next step of the process is to evaluate what happened. Be it an event or words spoken, evaluate the whole past and try to put yourself in others shoes. This could be tricky, as men tend to run on logic more than the emotions and might find it difficult to put themselves in others shoes. The key here is to put your detective hat on and try to find answers to questions such as, could it be possible that the person reacted in a certain way due to their own past and have a valid logic behind what they did?
These explanations will certainly not change what has already happened, but they can definitely help you look at things in a different perspective. Although, one thing to keep in mind is that you don’t fall down the spiral of overthinking the events. For a healthier path it is required that you as a man try to keep things in different boxes, just as you keep your professional matters different and do not let them interfere with your friendship with male colleagues.
Make a choice
The only way ahead now for you is to make a conscious choice of keeping the past in the past and moving on. Moving on could and will take a lot of time and patience. If required you can also choose to take help, be it from a close friend or by talking to a therapist.
Seeking help does not mean that you are weak, in fact it shows that you are strong enough to go through a trauma and are ready to move on for a brighter, healthier and happier future.