Rejection and Men: How to handle

We all understand the pain of rejection. Be it in your love life or work life, rejection is hard to take. But it is inevitable. You won’t always get everything you want, at least not in a single try. Often people don’t know how to handle rejection, and being rejected constantly can become depressing. Some people lose their sense of vision towards life. Negativity starts to flood their thoughts and actions so much that they let go of their goal and become afraid to move forward. Some even go through phases depression and suicidal behavior. When it comes to Men, they associate rejection with failure of their masculinity and their place in society. This may result in isolation, self gaslighting and self-harm, both  mentally and physically.

When we say that “Rome wasn’t built in a day”, It means that you’ll also have your share of failures while trying to achieve something. Success surely looks good and catchy but there is no success without struggle and failures, which often men forget. Rejection can be very heart breaking and sad for men, especially those who link it with their masculinity. But what can a man do to handle such situations? How can he attain hope in such negativity? Let us study more about men and rejection. 

What does it do to men?

Men, subconsciously, feel that they were born to rule. And when things go the opposite way, it freaks them out. Failure may make them feel that they are late in making something of their lives or providing for their loved ones. Failure in love may make them feel insecure about themselves. It can also turn into aggression which is more likely to have  a bad outcome. Rejection affects self-esteem. Our society always had unrealistic expectations from men, to always be strong, and be aware of his situation. Even though people have started acknowledging low self-esteem as an issue for women, it is still a scarce topic to talk about on the men’s side of things.

Many children who become hypersensitive towards rejection are early care-givers. It can be due to unexpected family situations. Though, rejection affects everybody and is one of the major causes  of low self-esteem. But “rejection hypersensitive” men experience much more than just low self-esteem. It can have an adverse-affect on their mental health and if it’s a love life rejection, they might also tend to react aggressively. 

How to deal with it 

Often it gets hard for people to figure out how to handle rejection. If rejection and failure is that inevitable in the journey of success, one must know how to keep going and overcome their fears. Rejection can be considered more of a  generalised term. We can be rejected in anything, for any position, by anybody. Hence, we will discuss the two major divisions of rejection:

Personal life rejection and professional life rejection.

Personal life rejection

Rejection in personal relations is commonly heard with men and should not be taken as a sign that something is wrong with you as not everyone can like you.

Often it is difficult for a man to take rejection from the woman he likes. Or even being rejected by your own friend group can be very difficult to deal with at times. it becomes a hard pill to swallow that not only makes you doubt your self worth but also hurts the ego.

If the rejection turns into anger, men can rash talk and behave aggressively. A lot of people retort to using foul or abusive  language, violence not only in the form of fights but also damage to property or self harm after getting rejected. This destroys the possibility of future endeavours and even the potential chances of getting a “yes” from the source of rejection.

How to handle personal life rejection 

  • Take it with dignity- Feelings are very subjective. You may fall for somebody who you just met and don’t feel a single thing about someone who have been there for years now. Feelings are definitely influenced by many factors around but they are not obligated to any of those factors. So if she rejects you, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are at fault. Our emotions are very fragile. A lot of men choose the option of changing themselves according to the preferences of the person that rejected them.  This is nothing but disrespecting your own  self. 

It’s good that they are honest with you. Hence, take that rejection with dignity as not everyone in this world is born to accept you for who you are. Accept the beauty of the fact that no matter how great of a person you are, you will never be liked or appreciated by everyone.

  • Tell yourself that it will go away – This can be a little harsh to accept when you genuinely feel for somebody. But the truth is life goes on. The bad day you are having, the heart ache, it all just goes away. After being rejected, make sure you tell yourself that it’ll go away. One way is to stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself about all the good things that are present in you, that are also appreciated by others. Help yourself to things that bring your comfort during such times, be it food, a video, games or even a book.
  • Increase your physical exertion – Exercising, dancing, swimming, all these things which involve physical strength and activity  can help you distract yourself and also acts as a vent to throw out the sadness you are feeling at the moment. Also, physical exercises and activities help in relieving stress and reduce stress inducing hormones in the body. It can also help you feel in control of the situation at hand as rejection makes you feel lost and out of control of what transpires in the next few moments.. 
  • Do not act out of emotion – Yes, it can be hurtful to get rejected. But acting out of your emotion and doing things which might have severe repercussions for the future will cause more harm than good.  Remember to keep your ethics above your emotional passion and aggression. If someone doesn’t feel for you the way you do, it is not their fault. Take a back seat and focus on yourself. Don’t hold a grudge and be remorseful to that person your whole life nor should you accuse them of anything or spread false rumours just to get back at them. It tells people more about you than the person who you are trying to de-mean.
  • Meet new people and focus on yourself – You have had a life before them, go back to that life and embrace what you have, what makes you feel good and the people that accept you for who you are. Work on yourself. Work on your growth. Meet new people if you want. Start learning a new hobby or catch up with an old one which you adored before.

How to handle rejection in professional life.

Men need to accept that fact that rejection is faced commonly in the professional space and should be take as a stepping stone to success.

A successful career is something we all wish for. Getting rejected in the professional sphere can be as de-motivating as personal rejections. You end up questioning your own worth. It seems very difficult to cope up with future plans.  But nobody got it all right at once. Hence, you’ll fail, face  rejection,  and then you try again. do not fear it. Remember that failure leads to character.  That’s how growth works. It can be very disheartening for men to be rejected in their professional space as the dynamics of their life have usually changed by that time. Some have a family to feed and some need to satisfy their self-esteem and fulfil their dreams or maybe they have an ambition or a time limit which binds them to succeed as soon as possible.

Here are ways to keep going and handle rejection in your professional life.

Don’t stop working – Failure is the first step of success. Just because you were rejected, don’t stop working on your goals. Changing your aims and goals is very easy. But you can’t always run away from failure and rejection. Hence, you won’t be able to achieve your aim if you are always trying to run and avoid the inevitable and it will also inhibit the growth of your skills and as a person.

Be respectful – No matter what kind of rejection it is, you won’t get anything by being bitter or rude as a response to it. Don’t kill your future potential opportunities or make an impression of a man who cannot find honour in his failures. Respect the person and you also are respected for it.

Rejection doesn’t make you a loser- Rejection is supposed to be a part of life. Don’t mark yourself as a loser. Maybe your skill set is different from what they want, or maybe they got someone better than you. never rule out the possibility that in life there will always be someone who is going to be one step better than you. Accept it and be humble, do not give up and continue to hone yourself towards getting better and better.  There are several men who still take rejection  positively and acknowledge their skills need to be further polished for the future.

Conclusion-

Rejection can be hurting. But you cannot avoid or escape it  from whatever situation it may be. The first and the best step to deal with rejection is to normalise it. It is okay to be rejected. But what you cannot normalise is running from the situation just because you are afraid of rejection. Face it, accept it with dignity, work on yourself and move on. It’s just a part of your process, not a definition to who you are. Take examples from the men that have faced many failures in their life and yet they continue to become better and most of them turn out successful soon enough. One should also condition and train the mind to make it mentally stronger to face such situations in the long run.

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