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How to break-up like a gentleman
It can be harsh to think, but the reality is that some bonds come with an expiry date. Break-ups are hard. Sometimes it just doesn’t workout. Maybe one of them or both can be at fault or completely correct from their perspectives. We all have had our hearts broken at one point or the other. People start with denial, then accept the fact and try to move on. Then finally, there comes a point that you don’t even remember the details, but only of how it ended. Sometimes, nobody is at fault, it’s just the situation that doesn’t go along or there is incompatibility between the two which did not surface before to make a sound judgement. In any case, it is essential and more than that, morally correct to break-up with dignity and respect.
Though, irrespective of gender, everyone should break-up in a respectful way. Here, we are going to talk about what a man feels while breaking up and how they can do it like a gentleman.Men usually freak out on how to end a relationship. Often, they take a lot of time to say it. It can be more difficult when they know that their partner is not at fault either. The way you choose to break-up tells a lot about you. You would not want to end things a bad way. Sometimes, things do get out of hand, and even your partner might retort immaturely or violently to it but you need to be the bigger person and try to end things on a better note from your side. Let us go ahead and learn how one should break-up.
Be sure about it.
Every relationship gets bumpy. We all go through hard times while being in a relationship. Do not break up casually to come back again and repeat the same pattern after any little inconvenience. It is going to do nothing other than hurting both of you. Be sure about your decision first. Be sure about the consequences and if you really want this or not.
You should also be clear about why you are doing this. Because someone is going to be shattered with the decision you make. At least they should know what made you take this step. Communicate as to why this decision is necessary and wish them luck and love for the future.
Do it face to face.
Sometimes, you may feel difficulty in facing the person with such a decision. It is not easy to tell somebody you loved or still love, that things are falling apart. Due to this, a lot of men tend to make a stupid mistake of not doing it face to face.
You can’t run away from the situation. Being hurt is inevitable in this situation. Be it for you or your partner.
No text, no posts, do not ask someone else to do it. If you guys are in different cities and can’t meet anytime soon but you can’t keep stretching it, at least make it a point to arrange a video call. Ghosting is very unkind and hurting. Do not just make somebody sit and think what they did wrong just because you are afraid to face the reality.
Do it in private.
Telling your partner about the break-up in public can be quite disrespectful, not only to the person, but the relationship and also yourself. Knowing that the person you love is breaking up with you in a concert, a friend’s wedding, or a trip can be very insulting. No one other than the two of you should be involved in the situation. Relationship is supposed to be a two-person thing. Do not involve anybody else while breaking up.
It can also be quite a vulnerable moment. Being around too much crowd or gathering will push your partner to hold their emotions back. So, make sure you guys are in a comfortable private space so that both of you can talk it out and express your emotions without any pressure to look around for who is staring.
Stick to the “why”
It is very common for some people to melt down when somebody is crying or is in a vulnerable state. Do not go back just because you think they are hurt. Ask yourself “why?”. Why did you take that decision in the first place and be firm about it! Going back just because you see them hurt is going to increase the pain for both of you in the coming future. You can’t skip their hurting phase. Eventually they’ll have to go through it. So, the sooner, the better. Take a deep breath when you feel like you are slipping away, rethink about the reason that made you do this and come back to reality.
Respect is non negotiable
You shared a loving and emotionally rich bond with this person once. It’s okay if you don’t love them now. But what’s not okay is being disrespectful and rude. Maintain eye contact. Do listen to what they say. Do not interrupt and nod your head in understanding. If they are hurt, they may talk a lot or sometimes not at all. Be there for them! Do not throw away your decision and simply run. Give them the time to process it and do not use disrespectful words.
Handling a break-up is not easy. Especially when it is someone else’s decision. Your partner may cry, blame or feel sick. Just understand their situation and maintain eye contact a bit. Do not interrupt them while speaking. Let them say what they feel. They may scream or get angry, Try to keep yourself calm. If the situation gets risky and anger takes over the charge, just leave the place.
They may get harsh on you, but deal with it as much as it is justified and try to be the bigger person and be empathetic.
Let them be the first person to know.
This world is small and if you tell somebody else about it first, the news can very easily get to her before you do. Knowing about your own break-up by somebody else and not your partner is hurting. It makes you look immature. You can discuss it with a close one but do tell them that it is not done yet. Talk to your partner first, tell them about it before broadcasting it to your friends.
No matter how easy it was for you, it is never cool to talk trash about the partner you left. Be respectful and tell people about the situation with dignity too.
If you are in an abusive relationship. Make sure you tell your friends and family before going for the break-up with your partner. In case you feel that the situation can go out of control, make plans to get yourself out of the sticky situation. It is not immature of you to keep them out of your social life if they are abusive. If you see them in public afterwards, just smile and keep moving. Do not try to indulge in a conversation if it doesn’t feel safe.
Break-ups are not easy. Especially for the person who doesn’t want it. Sometimes, it can be difficult for the person who is making the decision. And we cannot skip the reality. But doing that in the right way, respectfully, empathetically makes you kind and regret free. You cannot expect your partner to understand it soon. It will take time for them to process and understand you. But if you do it the right way, they’ll surely end up keeping your good image in their memories.
This can eliminate hatred.
After all, some things need to be done in a specific way only and it’s better to take that decision than to waste your time and their time instead.